The Elephant in the Room

 

It takes a very long time to feel an elephant in the room, if is very dim.  You have to feel each part of the majestic animal.  Most people don’t even attempt to do that.  If you have reached out towards the elephant in any way, if you have sought to understand what others are afraid to admit is even right in front of their faces.  If you have tried to get others to understand that the elephant was there or worse yet persuaded them to help you convince everyone there is an elephant.  If you are one of these “Elephant Touchers,” I have a gift for you.

 

I know that you are an enlightened person if you are trying to tell others about this big scary elephant in the room.  First of all, Elephants are intelligent loving, and highly socialized.  They are incredibly intelligent in ways that only the most spiritual of beings seem to be.  They are a full functioning matriarchy and respect and mourn their dead.  Instead of “No one wants to talk about the elephant in the room,” we should really say, “hey guys!  Look at that gorgeous elephant in the room.”

 

To me it seems that human kind is preoccupied with what might come.  We take our hurts from yesterday, and propel them into our fearful imagined movie images of our future.  For instance.  I have had recurring dreams all my life.  There are about five different main ones.  There is one where I park my blue childhood bicycle in the forest, back up, run really fast and take off flying.  It was never like Peter Pan, but it was a nice slow glide to freedom.

 

I had a less pleasant recurring dream about a father figure taming snakes in a pile of boulders in our backyard.  The lightning was flashing, sky dark, and I was a little girl with my nose pressed up against the glass door catching glimpses of my childhood horror show.  I go back to the dream just to see if I can put up with it.  That is some risky dreaming.

 

I have had divergent influences.  The Atheist and the God lover.  I found myself on the God loving side of life, and don’t roll your eyes, grateful for it.  In any case all of the voices from the Atheist to the God Lover and all in between laid the framework of  my steps to sanity, or is it Heaven.  Or is it sexual satisfaction, better health, well behaved children, or perhaps the ability to take a vacation or afford private school.  Really what is the difference.

 

During my tutelage with Good and Evil Teachers, skilled and otherwise, and talented, I progressed as quickly as the amount of love would let me.  I fought to have something to teach the children like my favorite teachers have and I admired these teachers, spiritual, psychological, and professors of arts and sciences.  I love all of them and have tremendous gratitude for the folks that God put in my life to cause change and teach me about love and myself.  I am no disciplined student, or teacher for that matter.

 

I don’t believe in discipline in the punitive sense of the word.  I am too hard on myself to have some sort of schedule of every day flogging that most humans have.  I cannot go to the gym at a certain time each day, or a job for that matter.  I like to see my husband and children each day, but after that I really can’t or don’t want to see people every day.

 

I used to love crowds and loved my social life more than my home life.  But luckily in adulthood, my family life is way better.  Now that I am honest, people don’t like me as easily.  It is such a very small percentage of people that like the truth after all.

 

You, though, dear reader are honest.  People are angry that you brought up the elephant and you still admit you see him.  You are a leader.  You don’t depend on others.  You are not a people pleaser.  You have stood your ground and carved out a place and will to live.  Not the humdrum life that you have lived, or the painful, or even the pretty good.  You are about to live the life of a superhero, perhaps even a vigilante.  You will be powerful too.  Very.

 

What is that you say?  Power?  Yes power.  Something I never needed or had much of.  I did not search for power except for the survivalist sense of the word.  At some point, I capitulated to Holy Spirit that my ideas about my own life, and humanity were silly, probably laughably.  Sad maybe that I had to live in a fantasy because of so much trauma, but still funny to see how willful I am about denial.  I am not that good at it though.  I lost all of it at 40.

 

Denial was always my best friend.  I am not a drunk, or a jet setter nor do I really want all that much beyond  being a mother and wife and writing and otherwise creating.  Denial and I did a sad dance, for all these years, and finally I lost my battle with truth and accepted it.

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Photosynthesis

The sun and green and vines

and blooms

the dark side of your pantaloons

Centuries ago you would know

what I mean

 

The victorian gardens that we

walked through

on our way

To get Married

to find each other

at Last

 

The small blooms neat and

puritanical

the wrong time to Marry for

Love but now is the

Right one

 

The time in history where

all that matters is

Love and

all who know

Peace shall know

Joy

 

Ophelia C. Daniels

Kind

Tell me what does it mean to be kind

Like a kind of chip is a variety

Kindness of the heart is a rarity

to be cherished by all

But worshipped by none

 

We should all know love

Love begets kindness

Even the most hurt and angry of us

Know Love

We all come from Love

 

No one can forget where they came from

Not so totally blind themselves

That they would forget the power

of the Light of Love

From whence they came

 

Illusion begins to run thin but

The ones who suffer the most will

See it first

See the love

Right on the other side of the glass

 

They will stand by the window to Heaven

And tell others

What they see

They see eternity and

Peace

 

Passers by will not believe

These sojourners of ours

The truth tellers

The drama seekers

The ones that speak

 

They will be yelled at and ignored and

Wholly unloved but it will not matter

Because they have seen the light of day

They do not need the illusion

They wait for all of us

 

How do we get to them

Simply to take our transportation

and live with them

Those who have opened the window and

Walked through

 

Our vehicle is kindness

I am sorry but there is no other way

Kindness is the physical manifestation of love

and the only measurement of how

Fulfilled one is

 

To be kind is nothing to be faked

but some have to practice to come

Awake

To pretend to be kind is such a thing

a Temporary lesson

 

Kindess and love are eternal

but all lessons are temporary

They do not count as a lesson until

we have learned them

Therefore nothing is lost until we do

 

Ophelia C. Daniels

Indubitably

Fakers use that word

To seem Educated

or Such

Like they have gone to  Lunch

Enough

 

To know who the cool

Kids are and if

They throw out

A word or two that pisses all

Off

 

Well they deserve the attention

Because they have done so

Much in the cog of Society

To Forward Jealousy

and  Sensationalism

 

To pretend their role

Was so hard

That the failure tantamount

To

Victory

 

Except it is not even close in

Jesus’s Name

 

Ophelia C. Daniels

Dementia

American Nero

Orange maned zero

Hotels and casinos burn down

Not a thought remains

Not a clue to share

The bar is now so low

There is no turning back

This is the breaking point

It’s been a pleasure

At the beaches

At the Dodger games

It’s all been a wonderful distraction

In the whorehouse of our mind

It’s better to stare than to cause action

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Literal

He literally thought he
would kill me
Today

Leave me in bed and hate me
until i wasted
Away

for doing what I was supposed to do
For feeling like I should have
For being Brave

For being willing to Rave when the
World tried to shut me up
to Stay

Focused on good when everything hurts
and he tried to kill me anyway
But I still love him

And he didn’t succeed
Should I stay here
Should I need

I say yes

Ophelia C. Daniels

Bojangles

He was a man
Less a legend
One with a gun
and a
Hound

He ground about in the morning
Like the grout on the
tiles in your
shower
Surround

That you put around
yourself to hide
who you were
and not even who you are now

The man that you led astray
that you lied to and put away
the one that deserves it
and he knows he always
will

the one that you ran from
because he used the tone for
Kill you
the only
Mom

You know your kids need you the most
Not God or the Holy Ghost
trust in them and in your gut
and your children will be
good

with God
and you
inside the bosom of all they knew
with the whole world
Atlas

At their Feet

Ophelia C. Daniel